You are so fat……
Someone said that to me the other day, ‘You are so fat!!!’. To my face, in a group of people, even patting my still huge tummy and asking if I was pregnant again. My baby is only 3 months old. I laughed it off, but deep down I was hurting. You do not expect such comments from women, especially so soon after having a baby. And yes, anything up to a year after having a baby is too soon to be calling someone fat. That your cousin’s sister’s niece lost all the weight the day she left hospital is not a yardstick you should use for everyone else. As I keep saying, people are different. And no, it does not mean I am lazy or eat too much.
I did not struggle to lose weight with Miss T. I cannot even tell you how that happened. I just went to my 6 week check up, weighed myself and was shocked that I had lost all of the weight I gained in pregnancy. Granted, I was exercising a bit more in that pregnancy (that was the year I decided to learn how to swim). With Mr T I didn’t exercise as much, just did a bit more walking and made sure I was clocked 10000 steps a day. I thought that was enough. And besides, everyone kept telling me how it would all melt off with breastfeeding. Did it melt off? Nope. I just lost the baby and placenta weight and the rest of the weight is clinging on for dear life regardless of what I do. I was eating a lot of junk and snacking a lot after giving birth and was a lot less mobile this time around but even after stepping up the movement and cutting out the junk, the scale just ain’t moving.
I decided early on that I would give myself a year to fully recover. That I would enjoy my baby and not overly fuss about getting back to my pre pregnancy weight. But it is a bit daunting when I try to lose some weight and absolutely nothing happens. And then someone comes and calls you fat :-(. No wonder someone started a movement to EndGirlHate. Women just love to hate on each other. If you are not going to help someone, don’t tell them how bad their situation is, they can see that for themselves and they sure don’t need someone pointing it out for them.
Yes, then you have those blessed souls who are gifted with great bodies that just seem to spring back to their original form after having babies. God bless their hearts. After Miss T, I believed I was in that group of special women, now I know better. Bouncing back to pre-pregnancy weight is not my super power.
2 minutes after being told I was fat, I reminded myself that I had spent a good 9 months growing a human being. Yes, I could work out hecticly to get back to ‘shape’, but currently I cannot do that so instead of stressing myself I choose instead to rejoice in this beautiful body of mine that was once a palace to my T’s. This beautiful body that God entrusted with 2 gorgeous little souls. Instead of worrying about my ‘fat’, I choose to love my body as it is, a reminder that only a few months ago I was carrying my precious baby. I nurture and nourish it with good food and exercise that is good for it to continue feeding Mr T.
I know I am not the only mama who once in a while (Or all the time for some) feels bad for not being able to ‘bounce back’ as quickly as others. Our journey is not one of competition or comparison or hate. We need to love our bodies as they are, love what they have been through and love what they continue to do as we feed and nourish our babies. It is okay not to be like the glamorous model or fit fanatic or plain girl next door who after giving birth does not look like they were ever pregnant. We are different and our bodies are different. We have carried human beings for 9 months, let that sink in, 9 months. Now is not a time to doubt or hate yourself. You are amazing enough.
I do not have a get fit in 24hours programme or any programme for that matter. I eat right, exercise, sleep right (sometimes) and drop everything when my babies need me. That is all I need. I do not need anything else to fit in or feel like a phenomenal woman. I am phenomenal enough.